Barney Stinson Awesomeness Quotes

Barney Stinson once said

If i get sad i stop being sad and be awesome instead
Think of me like yoda, but insted of being little and green, i wear suits and i'm awesome.I'm your bro... i'm Broda
With a great penis comes great responsability
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is dead", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.
It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy
A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.
A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty’s Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13).
A Bro never cries. EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.
The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she is 17 years old and 11 months old
Ted if you had a crazy story, i was there.Thats a law of the univerese
The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her pray. You watch them bounce , she is about to pounce.
Every halloween a bring a space costume, in case i strike out with the hotest girl in the party. That way i have a second chance to make a first impression
Suits are full of joy. They the sartorial equivalent of a baby smile

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How Barney Stinson invested and why is barney stinson rich

Barney Stinson and investing Barney was really a bad investor. Every one thought that he was rich becouse he knew how to invest but after season 3 episode , we discovered the hard truth. Barney Stinson invested in bimbos , he went to the gym and cheered all the nice but at the time fat girls. He kept tracking of all the progress of the girls. And when the time arrived and they become nice and fit the first person that they thanked was Barney. We have to admit ,he can see further than many of us. He was a genius ,he could prepare complicated plans just to achieve his objective.He could waited for years and never let go. Why Barney was rich and how much rich he was In season 2 episodes where the group went to Atlantic city so Marshal and Lilly get married for 1 second , we can hear that Barney had a serious game problem . He had lost all his money a life time saving as he sad.He had lost 80 thousand dollars. So all his life time saving was 80 thousand. With all the money he got from his

Barney Stinson Job - Please

Throughout the series, Barney refuses to mention what he does for a living, disregarding any questions about his job with a dismissive "Please." Barney is apparently quite rich, He lives in an upscale house he calls the fort of Barnitude, located at a hundred on an unspecified road, and is wealthy enough to own 300 inch televisions shipped from Japan as well as expensive memorabilia, inclusive of an Imperial Stormtrooper costume from the big name Wars films. Barney is likewise proven to be a fan of the rock companies AC/DC, Van Halen and Bon Jovi. In his weblog, he writes that he is the Director of WHO DID THIS. The enterprise he works for, Altrucell, advertises itself as the world's biggest producer of the felt covers of tennis balls; but, destiny Ted implies that the enterprise's fundamental profits come from other, much less harmless assets, including logging, oil drilling, small fingers, tobacco farming and missile production. Barney states in "Cupcake&qu

Barney himym and the ducky tie - The story that you didn't know

There are 2 versions of this story The story that all you know : Himym : The tie is originally worn by Marshall, but after making fun of it, Barney ends up having to wear the ducky tie as a result of losing a bet with Marshall and Lily . ... According to the bet Barney has to wear it for a whole year, but in Disaster Averted, he tries to get out of wearing it for the rest of the year . It is even seen wrapped around Barney's arm in The Slutty Pumpkin Returns , when Barney turns up almost naked in the Halloween Party on the roof of The Apartment . It was first seen in the following episode during a flashforward of Marshall and Barney 's trip to Atlantic City As indicated by the bet Barney needs to wear it for an entire year, however in Disaster Averted, he attempts to escape wearing it for the remainder of the year. He even offers Marshall a ton of money in the event that he allows him to take it off. It just so happens, Barney needs to take it off in light of the fact

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